A Year to Reflect

The more I think about it the more I’m really glad I got to take this year off. When I was in Europe this summer, dealing with travelling and all the things that come with that, plus not having a regular internet connection, it was really hard to communicate with home and Lisa and the schools in Korea. At some points it didn’t look like we were going to find a good match or a school at all. And at some points I was really doubting whether I should take a year off at all and just head straight to law school, or take a year off and do something else. While I’m still not sure what that something else would have been, I feel really fortunate to have this year as a break from everything. Teaching English is not really my passion, nor does it really leave some great impact on those in the world who are less fortunate, but it’s a nice break from it all and not too labour intensive, while still making money.

The “everything” that I’m taking a break from is the busyness of everything back home. In the long term it’s being caught up in the obvious of what’s next. The next step, the big life choices, seem like just a given. I guess I always wanted to take a year or a semester off and go somewhere, but never removed myself so drastically from my comfort zone to do so. Through high school the next step was university, and after Saint Mary’s I figured I still needed more school, so I was heading to the University of Ottawa. Luckily I could defer my acceptance and that paved the way to be here. This is the first time since I was five years old that I haven’t been in school. I find it really difficult to fully examine the “what’s next” while the short term stuff like the everyday tasks and whirlwind of “right now” is happening. I like being forward thinking and planning a little bit, and think about all the options, examining all the possibilities, but sometimes it’s hard to fully process.

This year the job of teaching is pretty straightforward. There’s really no room for creativity or my own input or personalization of the curriculum. It’s a workbook, we have 40 minutes and the parents expect results. That’s fine. I don’t bring work home with me, I don’t spend my spare time on extracurriculars. This is awesome because it leaves me all this time for the big stuff.

I haven’t necessarily sat down with a pencil and paper and mapped out my future, but it’s just the luxury of having the time to fully and pragmatically think out where I will be next year, in five years, and what big impact I want to have with whatever career I choose. I really have no idea what I want to be when I “grow up”. I know my interests and talents. I am aware of what type of work interests me (applied science and working with people) and I know I don’t like routine. The hardest part is that I’m interested in lots of things, which isn’t necessarily bad, but there is a broad spectrum from working in microfinance in India to saving the rain forest in Brazil, to solving international conflicts brought on by climate change and environmental degradation (even thought they are all connected on many levels). I will notice a news story here, or a documentary on TV, or a conversation about a current affair will really interest me. I hear stories about working for the United Nations, a Canadian government agency or just an NGO. What will be my big decisions about next year, will I search for a government job in Ottawa or just head to school. Where will it fit in my life plan, and what I want to do after that, and after that. I still don’t know, but at least I have the time to find out.

The year off is also helping me to accomplish some short term goals. I have started to think of personal success from a more holistic point of view, where health is just as important as what you do at work. I’ve been exercising more frequently. I am running again, and doing lots of active things outdoors like hiking. My diet is better, (not talking Weight Watchers here) like the food choices I make and just taking the time to eat proper meals, drink a lot of water. Things you neglect when I’m always on the run. It’s also little luxuries like getting regular sleep and having routine. I am fine with the routine because it’s not always mundane or becoming complacent. I know it’s not permanent.

I still plan to connect. This is talking to old friends, getting in the habit of emailing good friends and staying up to date with them other than just through Facebook status stalking. Maybe I’ll even try letter writing? I want to fully see a lot of the country, the culture, food, and other places around Korea. Deeply experience the culture as a resident and not just a tourist stopping through. I want to learn French. I’ve illegally acquired some well-known language software and hopefully I’ll master la belle langue before we get to the bilingual city of Ottawa.

I have a plan and where I want to be when I leave here. I’m not exactly done everything I want to and I’m not moving on all the goals yet. Cheers taking a year off.